I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
