So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
