Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
