His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
