I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
don't judge my taste in strippers
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
