She is in my trunk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
