I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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