The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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