cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
