were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i have two assholes
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
