Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
