I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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