please come you make the beer taste better
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
