Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
