I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
