So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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