sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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