Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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