Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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