so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
