Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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