mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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