Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
