Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
