i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
