this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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