Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
