I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
