I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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