and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I pour the whiskey from now on
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
