I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
