I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
