we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
