dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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