She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
