I'm going to jail i love you
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
babies were throwing up all over the place
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
