It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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