she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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