you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
