Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
