whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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