Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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