do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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