Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
