The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
