just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize