I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
