We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
