lets start a swedish sibling band together
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
