idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
