Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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