It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
