Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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