Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
