would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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