His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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