I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
