I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
