After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
