Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
