With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
