The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
