So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
