ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
